Monday, May 28, 2007

What Sort of Moustache Does Elisabeth Hasselbeck Deserve?


Rosie O'Donnell's chief writer Janette Barber was escorted from the The View studio yesterday following the discovery of numerous moustachioed photos of Iraq War defender Elisabeth Hasselbeck on the walls of the View offices. No one knows if Janette or Rosie will ever be back (or if Rosie's fight with Elisabeth on Wednesday was a ratings stunt) but let's drop the cosmic questions for a minute and focus on the thing that can be answered: What kind of 'stache should Janette have drawn on Elisabeth?

What kind of moustache did Rosie's writer draw on Elisabeth Hasselbeck?
And what does it say?
A Dali moustache
"Pretty surreal, right?"
A Steve Aoki moustache
"How did this overprivileged lightweight become, like, a person who actually matters in my life?
A handlebar moustache
"Oh she acts all conservaprude, but deep down? TOTAL perv."
A Hitler moustache
"If anyone asks, it's a Charlie Chaplin moustache"