Thursday, May 31, 2007

ABC 4 Investigation: Emos exposed

Last Update: May 23, 2007 8:41 PM

ABC 4 News is sounding the alarm about a teen phenomenon sweeping the nation. Its something we found most teens know about, but few parents had any clue of. Its called "emo" culture.

"Emo" is an abbreviation for emotional. Part punk, part goth, emo kids celebrate sadness and pain. Psychologist Judith Zimmerman tells ABC 4 News, Part of the guiding philosophy of emo kids is pain. That's the sub-current.

Our news team began their study of emo culture on the internet, where we quickly found hundreds of sites dedicated to teaching kids what emo is and how to be it. One site instructs, dye your hair black. Style it in the gunshot wound and never be happy.

Happiness is a sin to emo culture. In a state where the number two cause of teen death is suicide, experts say parents need to know emo culture and understand it.

Not every child who looks emo may be in to cutting themselves, dark poetry or talk of suicide, says psychologist Judith Zimmerman. Some of these kids may just be in a phase. Its important to tell the difference between a fashion statement and a commitment to a lifestyle. Parents need to understand the deeper meanings of why their child might be drawn to emo culture.

For more information on emo culture, click here.

Rafer Guzmán Rafer Guzmán

Emos gone wild, scaring the parents!

May 31, 2007

Anyone looking for a laugh might want to check out and type "emo" into the search engine. There you'll find a sensational story that claims to be "sounding the alarm about a teen phenomenon sweeping the nation." The stilted headline: "Emos exposed."

Look out, you emos! The media finally heard about you, and they're looking at you like you're the next Columbine killers.

The hilariously sensational story and accompanying video segment come from Utah, where perhaps the emo culture is a bit smaller than Long Island's. The story relentlessly tries to strike terror into the hearts of parents, painting emo teens as depressed, out of control and prone to suicide. One announcer warns, "Some of what you are about to see is created by teens and may be just a little bit disturbing."

The whole "story" is an outdated throwback to the early days of punk, when the mass media vilified that subculture as a kind of alien germ infecting America's youth. Then, as now, the media missed the self-mocking humor in the music and among the fans.

In this new report, several kids explain the dark philosophy of emo in somber tones - they're clearly struggling to keep a straight face.

But it's hard not to feel sorry for the two Utah moms who, on camera, anxiously call their children for information about this horrifying culture. One mother says fearfully, "But that's not you, is it?"

If only the reporter had come to Long Island. He would have found dozens of well-adjusted, upper-middle-class families in which mom and dad regularly drop their emo-crazed teens at The Crazy Donkey, or chauffeur them out to Bamboozle. Just about every emo band out here got started in a family basement. And there's many a parent who has forked over cash to help a kid burn a CD or go on tour. In fact, on Long Island, emo seems downright wholesome.

So cheer up, emo kids. Things could be worse: You could live in Utah.

Holy Fugliness! Is That Porn Star Jenna Jameson?





Aaaagggghh! Looks like Jenna has a little addiction to plastic surgery. Now she has 2 sets of flubbed up lips.. Ewwwww…. WTF happened?


Do you think Paris Hilton should go free?

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Before you leave, don’t forget to sign the Paris Hilton Petition, which will be sent to the State of California Governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Shanna Moakler and Lindsay Lohan’s Myspace Blog Fight

The image “” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

Shanna Moakler’s blog about Lindsay Lohan

Current mood: HONEST

When you making 8 million dollars a film…..HIRE A DRIVER!!

I’ve been getting a lot of letters asking my thoughts on recent events, so here it goes…. I know a lot of people think karma is going around and yeah I guess it might be, but to me..this is far from karma, if anything people like Paris love this shit, walking out of a court house to be met by a bevy of paparzzi like princess diana…carrying the bible around…loves it!

Karma will be the day she’s married and has kids and her husband goes and fucks a 22 yr old and knocks her up. I don’t find happiness in others when they are down, but I sure in hell don’t feel bad for people who play the victim constantly and are far from it.

People who feel it’s their job to make people feel beneath them or take opportunities others would die for an shit on them and frankly make a mockery of. So as the penis posse goes down one by one and enters jail or rehab…I don’t really think anything of it…they just show me what I always knew and thought they were _________. ( you can fill in the blank)

Lindsay Lohan’s
myspace blog response:

im going to keep this simple and brief, like her career. for someone who “doesn’t really think anything of it” sure had a mouth load to say. don’t blame “young hollywood” for your FUCKED UP relationships you old haggard.

maybe if you fixed yourself up a little bit, you wouldnt be so jealous of others. you know, a nice face/breast lift, lost a couple pounds (40), got rid of the paris haircut, and found yourself a decent looking boytoy you wouldn’t be so depressed and feel the need to comment on other peoples lifes that you dont know.

p.s. your kids are ugly.

Lindsay clearly wins this one. I have no idea why Shanna would blog about Lindsay’s DUI incident. I don’t care if the pope asked her about it, she doesn’t have to write an insulting blog claiming “I’m getting a lot of letters about this, so let me go on myspace and respond.” Loser!

How can Shanna mention karma when she can’t have good karma for mocking Lindsay in her fragile state? She’s way too old to consistently act like a 12 year-old girl. Pathetic!!! But I love it.

Paula Abdul breakdown

Leaked phone call of Paula Abdul crying to her representatives about she's being treated

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Paula Abdul is hitting back after a phone call between the American Idol judge and her reps was leaked on Thursday.

"I am deeply hurt and extremely disappointed that someone has taken a private telephone conversation that I had with my representatives and released it to the media," Abdul says in a statement to

"This is not only illegal but also highly unethical. While I don't feel a need to justify or explain my conversation, even as a public figure I do feel my privacy has been violated and find this action to be unacceptable."

On the audio tape of the call, first reported by the New York Post's Page Six, Abdul is allegedly heard crying and saying she had been treated badly by her representatives. "I've never been treated this way and I've never seen anybody treated this way," she says. "This is just too much to stomach."

Abdul also purportedly outlines some health problems during the call, which was later posted on YouTube.

Speed Racer's Mach 5 Race Car Revealed!

May 31, 2007
Source: USA Today
by Alex Billington

After much hype and only talk, the first photo revealing the Mach 5 from The Wachowski Brother's Speed Racer has hit, and it looks like a beauty! Revealed in USA Today as well as below here, the car is essentially rendered CGI, but not in a Shrek/Pixar way, as you can certainly see. Without any need for further introduction, here is Speed Racer's Mach 5 race car in all its full glory!

Speed Racer's Mach 5

Emile Hirsch, who stars as Speed Racer, commented on the car, saying that the Wachowski's hit it dead on.

“My first thought was, 'Yeah, they got the car right,’ " he says. “That's one of the best things about the show, so it was always going to be one of the most important parts of the movie."

In case you haven't been following very closely, we've been excited for this since they announced it, following its progression and casting announcements. According to producer Joel Silver, the film will, “be very bright, very family-friendly. And it will have great effects like The Matrix, just with the car."

One thing they're not going to do in CGI is Chim Chim the chimpanzee, the family pet. Just like the other actors, he'll be real, too. Speed Racer is still aiming for a May 9th, 2008 release, and I'm sure we'll see plenty of updates over the next year as the film is currently shooting in Germany as we speak.

Jon Lovitz, Laugh Factory make lifelong deal


Thu May 31, 2:26 AM ET

Jon Lovitz has made a lifelong commitment — to the Laugh Factory.

The comic announced Wednesday that he has signed a contract to appear at the Sunset Strip club every Wednesday night for the rest of his life.

"Or, if he's in New York to do a movie or something, he can appear at the Laugh Factory there. But he's committed to every Wednesday night," club owner Jamie Masada said.

Lovitz said he's expecting a long run.

"Who knows? I could become the Don Ho of Los Angeles," he said. "God knows I've got enough Hawaiian shirts."

As part of the deal, the 49-year-old "Saturday Night Live" alum will also write a Laugh Factory blog giving advice to up-and-coming comedians.

"His contract is very lucrative," Masada quipped. "If he lives to be 100 years old, I'll owe him part of the club."

The Top 10 Secret Celebrity Scientologists


Best Known For: My Name is Earl, every Kevin Smith movie after Clerks.

Why You Wouldn't Expect Him To Be a Scientologist: It breaks our hearts, honestly. Lee's a hilarious actor, and can deliver the driest one-liners around. He seems like a genuinely intelligent and funny guy. Hell, dude was a pro skateboarder. How cool is that? Knowing he thinks alien ghosts infected the planet with negative energy can't help but be a little disappointing coming from a guy who can execute a flawless nosegrind.

Connections: Lee’s My Name is Earl and Mallrats co-star Ethan Suplee isn't just a Scientologist; he’s also married to the sister of second generation Scientologist/certified whack job Juliette Lewis, who starred in that awful "retarded people in love" movie The Other Sister with close friend and fellow Scientologist Giovani Ribisi.

Lewis and her father guest-starred on My Name is Earl in 2006, which must have made for a really fun day on the set for anyone who needed an E-meter reading.

Presumed Operating Thetan Level: One (is able to "audit" self, has knowledge of matter, energy, space and time above that of regular humans)


Best Known For: The shrill, but perplexingly attractive wife of human-sized sandwich receptacle Kevin James on King of Queens.

Why You Wouldn't Expect Her To Be a Scientologist: Having watched King of Queens, we're more than a little surprised that they actually wanted her. You can almost picture her at some Scientologist retreat, nagging away at John Travolta for fucking up his tone scale.

That said, she’s earned her Hubbard stripes, having been a vocal supporter of Scientology in the past. Remini gave the Church of Scientology a loving, 40-minute tongue-bath when she appeared on Janeane Garafolo’s short-lived Air America show Majority Report to plug some manner of Scientology-endorsed “detoxification cure" nonsense. More surprising: that airwaves could handle that much brittle, sarcastic estrogen occupying the same space and not implode like a black hole.

Connections: According to Remini, she was the first person to have seen Suri Cruise in person, even though she’s never been known to be on even "nodding acquaintance" terms with Tom or Katie. She did not comment about whether Tom Cruise has since eaten the baby.

Presumed Operatng Thetan Level: Three or Four (is able to regulate her "meat body" for thetans, and can rid self of the "effects of drugs on the spirit")


Best Known For: being in possession of two turntables and a microphone; being able to identify a good drum break; being the hippest white boy in the room.

Why You Wouldn't Expect Him To Be a Scientologist: The Reverend of Electric Soul, genre-hopping creator of esoteric and complex albums: doesn't Beck seem a bit too ironically hip to believe in something as goddamn ridiculous as Scientology without putting quote gestures around it and talking about it through a voice synthesizer first?

While he never came out about his beliefs until 2005, Beck is actually a second generation Scientologist; there are a multitude of conspiracy theories online that both he and his record label tried to conceal his Scientologist leanings for most of his career. Clearly the label didn't want anybody to think that Beck, a 100-pound Fraggle who writes acoustic guitar raps about plastic eyeballs spraypainting vegetables, was weird or anything.

Connections: Beck’s mother was the midwife for the birth of pasty-faced actor/second generation Scientologist Giovanni Ribisi (The Mod Squad, Saving Private Ryan) and his twin sister Marissa.

Beck is now married to Marissa, the mother of his son "Cosimo Henri." As of this writing they’re expecting another one, who’ll probably get an even more retarded name, if that's possible. (See also: Jason Lee’s son "Pilot Inspektor Riesgraf Lee"; "Suri")

Presumed Operating Thetan Level: 7 or higher (able to audit self and "address the primary cause of amnesia"; according to Wikipedia, graduation from this level requires a $100,000 payment)


Best Known For: being a legal expert for CNN and FOX; covered the O.J. Simpson trial; host of Burden of Proof and On the Record with Greta Van Susteren.

Why You Wouldn't Expect Her To Be a Scientologist: Well, she has an education, for one, and by all accounts was a pretty good lawyer. Second, she’s on the FOX network, which tends to put tree-huggin' Democrats ahead of Scientology's foe, the cursed space pirate Xenu, on their Most Wanted Lists.

Connections: Her husband John “Bhopal” Coale represented Lisa Marie Presley (Scientologist) in her divorce. Lisa Marie is of course the daughter of Elvis Presley, who enjoyed eating ham a lot (below; ham's religious affiliations unknown).

The law firm owned by Van Susteren and her husband has also brought a lawsuit against Wellspring, a cult recovery facility, for reasons unclear, since Scientology is so obviously not a cult at all. (Note to Scientologists: please don't sue.)

Presumed Operating Thetan Level: We're not sure about Van Susteren, but her husband is a level 8, the highest level currently available (can only be achieved while on a boat at sea; seriously, we are not making this shit up).


Best Known For: his Jewfro’d stoner Hyde character from That '70s Show.

Why You Wouldn't Expect Him To Be a Scientologist: Masterson played the only bearable character in a show consisting of smirking human skeleton Topher Grace, face-punchable douchebag Ashton Kutcher and functionally retarded ethnic stereotype (and Lindsey Lohan despoiler) Wilmer Valderrama. Masterson’s the only guy in that cast that we don't actually want to strangle to death, and that's taking into account that he probably spends at least two embarrassing hours a day "sideburn-grooming."

But, alas, it's true. In his own words: "I have always been in Scientology my entire life. Each service in Scientology is something I have added to my toolbox of data for living." In December 2005, Masterson helped promote the gala opening of Scientology's controversial "Psychiatry: An Industry of Death" Museum. You know, for the kids.

Connections: Laura Prepon, the red-headed masturbatory aid from That '70s Show, was brought into the Scientology fold by Danny and his brother Christopher (troublemaker Francis on Malcolm in the Middle) after Laura and Christopher started dating. Frankie Muniz has so far not been asked to participate, putting his Thetans at considerable risk. On the plus side, Frankie Muniz has not been asked to participate in something.

Presumed Operating Thetan Level: unknown; can perhaps be found in his high-tech data toolbox


Best Known For: The theme song to Shaft; playing Chef on South Park.

Why You Wouldn't Expect Him To Be a Scientologist: Who’s a sex machine to all the chicks? Not Isaac Hayes, unless they’re at least level 4.

Okay, this entry's sort of cheating, since after Hayes' public dismissal from South Park last year over the show's offensive portrayal of Scientology, pretty much everyone's aware of Isaac's Xenu-battling ways at this point. Still, though: motherfucker wrote the theme song from Shaft! Come on!

Rumors abound that Hayes was forced by Scientology overlords to quit South Park after the infamous “In the Closet” episode. Whew! Good thing it's not a cult, though! (Don't sue.)

Connections: The other three black Scientologists, who remain shrouded in mystery.

Presumed Operating Thetan Level: the baddest mother-- "Shut your mouth!" "I'm just talkin' 'bout Operatin' Thetan Levels!" "Then we can dig it."


Best Known For: Okay, it’s technically Nancy Cartwright, the voice of Bart Simpson

Why You Wouldn't Expect Her To Be a Scientologist: Don’t have an Engram, man! Of all people to believe in crazy shit L.Ron Hubbard cooked up on a sailboat while knocking back Coronas, we wouldn't have pegged the voice of Bart Simpson. Cartwright says she learned about Scientology in her acting class in 1988. It's frankly mind-boggling that she could have somehow heard about this in a place where people who can't act get in a group to act like trees and believe anything their teacher tells them.

Connections: Mr. Burns? Bumble Bee Man? LENNY????

Presumed Thetan Level: Four (self-"auditing"; gives one the ability to talk like an eight-year-old boy and produce catchphrases that wind up on t-shirts)


Best Known For: being Cher’s ex-husband; being a Republican congressman; not wearing a helmet when skiing

Why You Wouldn't Expect Him To Be a Scientologist: Back in the Sonny & Cher days, you totally would have pegged the diminutive, fringe-wearing Bono as the sort of vacuous, henpecked sucker to get roped into a fruity Hollywood cult.

But after he went all Catholic Republican in the '90s, he allegedly put all that hippy nonsense behind him. However, several sources claim he kept close ties with the Scientologist Church until his death, consulting members frequently on both personal and political issues. That’s reassuring.

He was also quoted as saying: "My only sorrow is that L. Ron Hubbard left before I could thank him for my new life," in a full-page ad featured in several newspapers after Elron's death.

Connections: Widow and replacement congresswoman Mary Bono has also taken Scientology courses. Bono was introduced to Scientology by Mimi Rogers (who was also responsible for inducting football player John Brodie, and of course, Tom Cruise.)

Presumed Thetan Level: Slalom


Best Known For: Seinfeld; questioning the “deal” with airline peanuts; drilling a minor

Why You Wouldn't Expect Him To Be a Scientologist: Cynical Jewish comedians are better known for having issues with their mothers and getting their laundry back from the drycleaners than worrying why the Galactic Confederacy blew up a bunch of volcanoes, dooming us all to centuries of terror. Also: he's Jewish. We're pretty sure religion doesn't advertise two-for-one specials.

Still, while Seinfeld claims not to be an adherent, "I took a couple courses a number of years ago that I thought were fabulous. I learned a lot and I had a good experience with it…I think the stuff I learned there really did help me a lot." He’s also dismissed articles questioning Scientology as "poor journalism." Let that be a lesson to journalists everywhere, from the mouth of Seinfeld himself: stop questioning things.

Connections: Nothing we can prove. But Michael "N-Word" Richards could probably use whatever well-funded stealth Scientology PR team's keeping Tom Cruise's career afloat right about now.

Presumed Thetan Level: What’s the deal with all these levels? Has anyone else noticed this?


Best Known For: viciously murdering people, ordering people to viciously murder other people; carving swastikas into his forehead

Why You Wouldn't Expect Him To Be a Scientologist: One of the biggest lunatics in American history is actually precisely who we'd expect to be down on the ground with psychotic theories about aliens and immortal spirits. But here’s the kicker: Manson took over 150 hours of Scientology courses, rejected it as too crazy, and then went on to murder a whole bunch of people.

We're just saying.

Connections: Peter "Big Gunner" Skinner, the guard he supplies cigarettes to so he can avoid getting raped all the time.

Presumed Thetan Level: Batshit insane, but knows total bullshit when he sees it.