I'm all washed up!
Hollywood vice queen to laundrette boss. Heidi Fleiss tells all..
ONCE she was the world's richest vice queen, earning TEN MILLION DOLLARS. She bedded Hollywood legends like Jack Nicholson and Marlon Brando.
But now the only men's pants Heidi Fleiss sees flying round are the ones in the machines of her LAUNDERETTE in a remote desert town.
For the woman who once ran America's most notorious prostitution ring selling sex to the stars in Beverly Hills is all washed up in a Nevada backwater called Pahrump.
And she admits: "I'm broke, my life is a mess and so am I. But I just couldn't care less."
Today Heidi—who lost her fortune after being busted and jailed in 1997—lives in a trailer she shares with TWENTY PARROTS she took in when a pet shop closed down.
"I love those birds more than I've ever loved any man," she says. "It's been two years since I had sex and I don't care if I ever do it again."
But now the working girl turned washerwoman is ready to talk about her past sex life and air some dirty linen in public —like Marlon Brando's pants, which were far from smalls.
"I love fat men— they try harder," she said. "And Marlon was without doubt the sexiest, fattest man I ever slept with." The late Godfather star weighed 28 STONE and was 73 when she slept with him.
Grapes
"I went to his house a week before I was jailed and had the most exhausting but satisfying eight hours of my life. We did it in every position imaginable.
"As soon as I walked in he stripped me and devoured me like an animal. For the next eight hours we did it in every room of the house and even in the shower.
"He was old then but Marlon knew exactly how to please a woman and despite his size had incredible stamina. He just kept going.
"The only thing slightly off-putting was he had this strange habit of munching on grapes the whole time we had sex. He kept them in a big bowl next to his bed."
Ten years ago Heidi, now 42, lived the sweet life in a multi-million-pound mansion once owned by Michael Douglas. She drove a Porsche Carrera, shopped on glitzy Rodeo Drive and had famous men flocking to her bed.
Another of them was Jack Nicholson. He rates as Heidi's next best lover after Brando. "Jack exudes sex and when I went to his house in the 90s I was not disappointed. He is very kinky and loved spanking my bottom in bed.
"Like Marlon he could go for hours and loved sex every which way. He gave me 20 orgasms that night.
"When he came knocking on my bedroom window a few weeks later I didn't hesitate to let him in."
One lover she hangs out to dry is Saving Private Ryan actor Tom Sizemore, 43. In 2003 she accused him of domestic violence and he was jailed for 17 months. 
Heidi says: "Tom is the most disgusting human being I've ever met. He asked me to perform sex acts even I thought were depraved. Once, when I refused to have sex with him, he dragged me across the floor and split my head open. The day he was convicted was one of the happiest of my life."
A customer comes into the launderette and fills up a machine as Heidi sits watching in a scruffy, stained Salvation Army T-shirt that cost her $2.
Nuts
"It was all I could afford," she says. "To think I used to earn ten million dollars a year—I shopped at the most exclusive stores on Rodeo Drive. I'd think nothing about spending $400 on a pair of jeans.
"I drove a Porsche and ate at restaurants where soup cost 30 bucks. Now I can barely afford a can of soup. Some days I eat the parrots' nuts because I can't afford bread." But she insists she loves her new life—and has no regrets about her old one.
Skint Heidi borrowed money from a friend to open Dirty Laundry. "First I planned to open a brothel here because prostitution is legal," says Heidi. "But one day I woke up and thought the name Dirty Laundry would be fabulous for a launderette. It doesn't even pay the bills—but I love it."
Most customers seem to love her too. "She's great fun and always gives fabulous service," says one called Jenny, echoing what customers used to say in her previous career too.
Heidi says: "Many people call me a whore, but I take it as a compliment. I've slept with men most women only dream of having sex with. Show me any woman who would turn down Nicholson or Brando.
"I've bedded everything between the ages of 16 and 60. I've had so much sex.
"But unless someone very rich comes along and is willing to take on the mess I'm perfectly happy in my launderette and playing with my parrots."
