Thursday, May 22, 2008

The 7 Most Epic Rickrolls Ever

It seems these days that almost everything is made easier with the aid of the internet, and that notion certainly holds true when it comes to pranks. One recent phenomenon that can attest to this growing trend is the humiliating gag known as the Rickroll. If you don't know what it means to be Rickroll'd, then I welcome you to the world wide web, internet virgin. And if you do, then here are 7 examples of some of the best Rick Astley pranks that have been pulled and then documented.

7- Olympic torch procession

We can only guess that the sole reason people would protest the recent Olympic torch relay through San Francisco would be in objection to the recent inhumane treatment of Tibetan monks by the Chinese government. And not simply because they are 22 and unemployed, and their mother gave them permission to have the car for the day, and they think that mocking the establishment with a kooky internet fad will make them hip, local celebrities. Fortunately, for these creative jokesters, their effort to prank a symbolic relay runner and a couple police escorts was caught on film, increasing their gag's punch-line ten-fold, and in turn giving them some credence regarding the prank's potentially admirable motives.

Estimated Rickroll victim tally: Maybe 3 if you're counting the relay runner and the cops, however, if you include the Country of China it's about 1,321,851,891.

6- Scientology protest

If you plan on mocking an unbelievably ridiculous religious denomination/cult, what better way to do so than with an equally ridiculous prank. This gag saw the annoying power of Rick Astley face off against idiots who are possessed by victimized alien spirits that died at the hands of the evil Galactic Federation's leader Xenu. And as if those Martian-embodied morons didn't have it bad enough just going up against Mr. Astley's generic 80s easy-listening tunes, they also had the music delivered to them by a real life werewolf of London (sporting a light blue jacket and backpack no less). It's rumored that Tom Cruise was so angered by this demonstration that he plans on making that stereo-holding werewolf the villain in the soon-to-be summer blockbuster Mission Impossible 4: This Mission Just Got a Hell of a Lot More Impossibler.

Estimated Rickroll victim tally: If you just want to count the church/compound being targeted for the protest maybe about 100, but since the prankers are probably including all Scientologists/nuts worldwide it's probably around 50,000

5- Eastern Washington University College Basketball game

An Eastern Washington women's basketball game was the subject of this massive Rick Roll, when a gentleman garbed in Mr. Astley's striking black outfit and unbuttoned trench coat proceeded to confuse many middle-aged attendees. On this day, the high-flyin' Eagles roundball team took second stage to what was, by the looks of it, a much more entertaining spectacle as the power of music transfixed a feverous mob. Strangely enough, it appears that the cheerleading squad was also in on this prank that perplexed numerous fans, since they danced to a seemingly choreographed routine. Apparently Rick Astley's enthralling songwriting has the ability to mesmerize even those who seem the most opposed to following superficial trends.

Estimated Rickroll victim tally: Judging by the sparse attendance I would guess that the Fightin' Eagles aren't doing very well this season, and around 75 people are getting "Roll'd" as a result.

4- London's Liverpool St. train station

On April 11, 2008, the Liverpool train station in London England heard "Never Gonna Give You Up" pour out of thousands of poorly maintained mouths and teeth. Unfortunately, since there were so many pranksters involved in the gag, the number of victims that could still fit into the prank space was reduced. Still, it isn't too tough to imagine an older and fatter Rick Astley shedding a tear or two of joy, after having so many people be willing to sing his outrageous lyrics after all these years. If there is one train station on the planet that truly understands what it means to "Rick Roll," then the station at the corner of Primrose and Sun Street in London, England is that place. God Bless you and all your patrons, you strange mass transit system hub.

Estimated Rickroll victim tally: There weren't any exact or scientific measurements taken duringing this particular prank, but it's been specualted by some Rickroll experts that maybe a thousand or so people attended this mobroll.

3- Albany News anchor

"Wow, you guys really got me," says a mortified anchor woman as she's made a fool on national TV by her hate-filled peers, who obviously know not the power of the Rickroll (Did the prankster really call him "Rick Ashley?" Amateur.) These are the upsetting reactions of Rick Astley's many victims and it won't be long before these casualties start retaliating with violence. I don't think it's out of the realm of possibility to think that seconds after this show rapped, that blonde news anchor viciously killed the entire Fox 23 news team including the sportscaster who is peculiarly absent. The horrible thing is, isn't every viewer of this news cast getting Rickroll'd as well, since we are all witnessing the same atrocities as the blonde anchor woman? If that's the case, it won't be long before a massive mob lines up outside Fox 23's doors armed with torches and pitchforks, ready to do the unthinkable to the responsible party.

Estimated Rickroll victim tally: If we are simply counting just the news anchor than I'm confident in estimating that 1 person was pranked, however, if we also include all the viewers of Fox 23's local news coverage then it's maybe a couple dozen.

2- Youtube's April Fools Day prank

Remember when Youtube pranked everybody by making each video on their front page link to a Rick Roll.? If you don't, then you're probably a liar because they got everyone. On April Fool's day of 2008, the site responsible for starting this whole crazy fad showed appreciation to it's many users by repeatedly pranking them with Rick Astley's incredible gift of song. With Youtube claiming to get 100 million hits a day that could stand as potentially the biggest Rickroll ever. The only problem is if there isn't a witness to the gag is it really a prank? I mean, would anyone really be all that embarrassed if they didn't have a friend or group of strangers standing around laughing and pointing? If a tree is Rickroll'd in a forest with no one around to laugh at it, is it still getting pranked?

Estimated Rickroll victim tally: According to Youtube 100 million people traffic their site each day, so lets say maybe 9 out of 10 Youtube patrons fell for the gag making some 90 million people feel like an ass this 1st of April.

1-Shea Stadium

The New York Mets (a.k.a. the unpopular New York baseball team) decided to hold a progressive internet vote to determine a new team song that would be played during their remaining home games. Regrettably for them, the internet proved to be more divisive than progressive, and as a result many non-Met fans and tech-savvy troublemakers swamped their electronic ballot boxes with Rick Astley's chart-topping hit. Then on April 7, an obtuse Mets organization announced and then played the contest winner, much to the chagrin of this mediocre baseball team's fans. Shea Stadium was not only filled with Rick's generic voice and inane lyrics, but with the disgust and boos that can only be created by a fan base so willing to embrace mediocrity.

Estimated Rickroll victim tally: Since Shea Stadium holds about 57,333 apathetic fans,lets say about 57,400 people were pranked including both team's players, coaches, and staff.