How to Look Like a Young Hollywood Celebrity
Each week photos of Hollywood's young celebrity set are spread throughout the pages of your favorite rag mags: Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Richie, Kimberly Stewart, Mary-Kate & Ashley Olson, Jessica & Ashley Simpson, Hilary & Haylie Duff ... you get the idea. They're young, they're beautiful, and they're filthy rich. How to look like a young Hollywood celebrity? Read on ...
Things You'll Need
- Diet Pills
- Big sunglasses
- Cell phone
- Personal stylist
- Fabulous friends or a famous sister
Instructions
- STEP 1: Go on an extreme diet and rapidly lose an unhealthy amount of weight. For example, if you are 5' 5" then 98 lbs. is ideal for you. When wearing a bikini (which you will wear often), your rib cage should be clearly visible.
- STEP 2: Stop wearing underwear. Immediately. A la Paris, Lindsay and Britney, you should never, ever wear underwear, especially when wearing a short skirt, and especially when exiting a car.
- STEP 3: Get a celebrity stylist. Lots of hot young celebrities use Rachel Zoe (Mischa Barton and Lindsay Lohan are Zoe-ites). But up-and-comer Christina Ehrlich (stylist to Nicole Richie) is another hot commodity. Your stylist will advise you on cutting edge fashions so that you will wear them, and then discard them, before the rest of the world knew "it" was even fashionable.
- STEP 4: Invest in hair extensions. Paris, Britney and Jessica all wear them, all the time. One day they're sporting a cute bob, and the very next they're wearing long and lovely locks. Jessica even launched her own line of hair extensions with her celebrity hairdresser, Ken Paves. (Buy them here: http://catalog.hsn.com/Jessica-Simpson-Hair-Extensions.htm)
- STEP 5: Purchase a pair of large sunglasses. The larger the better. You may feel silly in them at first, but stick with it. They're a must have. The Olson twins can be credited with starting this craze.
- STEP 6: Talk on your cell phone at all times. While driving in your car, eating at a restaurant, walking in Beverly Hills, shopping at Kitson, watching a fashion show ... talk on your cell phone constantly. And when you've run out of people to talk to, text message or email via Blackberry or SideKick.
- STEP 7: Snag a date with some young hottie who's already shagged Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan ... or better yet, both! Wilmer Valderrama is an excellent choice.
- STEP 8: Be seen drunk in public often. In restaurants, outside of clubs, on vacation. Even if you're not drunk, stumble a little when you walk just to give the illusion of being drunk.
- STEP 9: Flash (or nearly flash) a nipple. It's all the rage among young Hollywood gals. Tara Reid's been caught, as has Lindsay Lohan, with an exposed nipple.
- STEP 10: Get a really big purse. A purse so large that it dwarfs your tiny frame (remember, you've been on an extreme diet!). Fill you purse with your essentials: diet pills, cell phone, Blackberry, sunglasses, credit cards, a flask.
