Friday, August 31, 2007

Five Types of Strippers

by Neil Miller

Strip clubs can be a confusing place. Fortunately for you, they're no mystery to us. That's why we gave you the guide to strip club etiquette. Now, we bring a little refinement to the points of the ladies involved: the five types of strippers you should look out for.

The Perfect 10 a.k.a The Pretty Girl

Could be new; could be a career girl. However, always totally gorgeous and has a smoking body. However, she gets by completely on her looks and works better as eye candy than as a lap dancer. Avoid this one unless you're at an all-nude, no-touch club.

The New Kid on the Block

This girl's new to stripping. She's often very pretty and usually is working her way through college. Her inexperience makes her inconsistent. She can be good or bad, depending on the girl. She might be too nervous to give a good show, but she might be more adventurous and "go that extra mile." Take this gamble only if she'll actually drink what you buy her from the bar.

The Old Gray Mare a.k.a. The Lifer

This girl is way past her prime. She may have been hot 15 or 20 years ago, but too many kids, too much drinking and too much smoking has taken its toll. The other girls won't tip her even if they're using your money. Don't be surprised if she's related to the club owner.

The Bait-and-Switch

Watch out for these girls as they cover a variety of demographics. These strippers are out for fast cash and don't have any regular customers. They prey on the new guys. Their m.o. is to promise or imply extras, especially if they quote you a specific tip amount, but never deliver. Test for this one by getting the $20 couch dance before buying time in the back room.

The Career Girl

Unless you're looking for a specific body type, you're going to have your best time with this girl. She's usually a 6 to an 8 - hot enough to fulfill the stripper fantasy, but not perfect. Realistically, they often have a boyfriend or husband, they're a working mother and a little older (late 20s or early 30s). However, she's got a stock of regulars, and she's figured out the biz. She knows how to show a good time, she's a good provider and definitely worth the money.