Tina Fey was on the Howard Stern show yesterday and said that Paris Hilton was a piece of shit and looked like a transvestite up close. She also revealed that Paris asked the SNL writers to make a skit where she could play Jessica Simpson “because I hate her … she’s fat.” I recommend you read the entire thing because it’s pure gold:
Howard Stern: What is Paris Hilton like?
Tina Fey: She’s a piece of shit. The people at SNL were like maybe she’ll be fun, maybe she won’t take herself so seriously. She takes herself so seriously! She’s unbelievably dumb and so proud of how dumb she is. She looks like a tranny up close.
Howard Stern: Was she bad on SNL, was she hard to deal with?
Tina Fey: She was awful. People never come in and say “I’m not doing that.” So, this guy Jim Downey wrote a really really funny sketch, it was supposed to be Lorne Michaels just finding out that she had a sex tape and telling her she couldn’t host the show because SNL has standards… So she was like “I’m not doing it!” and refused to come out of her dressing room. Also, you would walk down the hall and find what just looked like nasty wads of Barbie hair on the stairs… Her hair is like a Fraggle.
Howard Stern: Did she give you ideas for sketches?
Tina Fey: Yeah, she wanted to make fun of all the girls she hates. She was like “I want to play Jessica Simpson, I hate her.” She would come in the room and say “you should do a show about Jessica Simpson because she’s fat.”
Howard Stern: What was the bet you guys had going about her?
Tina Fey: The cast had a bet if she would ask anyone on the cast anything about themselves, you know like how are you? where are you from? anything. I think Seth Meyers won because at one point, she asked him if Maya Rudolf was Italian.
I don’t know what it means to be a hero. If it’s saving children’s lives and pulling dogs out of burning buildings then yeah, I guess I am a hero. But if it means calling Paris Hilton a tranvestite on national radio then by golly Tina Fey is a hero. Some might even say the greatest hero ever to have lived.