San Francisco Best Buy Black Friday War Wounds
Warning: A lot of profanity ahead. Not because I like to drop the F-bomb all the time, but because I'm documenting a real dialogue exchange in my blog below.
So I ventured to the Black Friday event at the San Francisco Best Buy this morning. We were in line by 2:00AM. By "line", I really mean a chaotic goop of 300+ young Asian FOB people (including me, technically) with some white people sprinkled into the mix. But because the ethnic majority there have little of no grasp of English, the line situation was utterly insane.
People were lining up on the wrong sides, clearly missing the "LINE STARTS HERE" sign in bright red 5000pt font. Chaos ensued between the Team Wrong Line and Team Right Line.
People were crowding at wrong spots, ignoring the army of blue-polo-clad Best Buy employees' directions. The Best Buy employee called the stand-by cops and started kicking people out of the line. Chaos ensued between Team Employees and Team Retarded Liners.
Towards 5:30AM, the line situation was pretty much under control. There were cutters but they were quickly escorted off of the premise.
The whole time I was there, there was this one acne-ridden, super FOB Chinese chick who was pissing me off. She not only lined up at the wrong line, but tried to cut infront of me in the right line. She got kicked out of the line, but shamelessly moved with the line and attempted to cut again. As we were being let into the store, I finally yelled at her "YOU ALREADY GOT KICKED OUT OF THE LINE SO STOP TRYING TO GET BACK IN."
Strangely enough, she got into the store. I only know this because SHE TRIED TO CUT INFRONT OF ME AGAIN in the digital camera purchase line. The nerves! A Best Buy employee had to tell her to follow the curve of the line. She either ignored the guy or really didn't understand English. She would not budge, and anchored herself right infront of me. I finally snapped and yelled at her (and made sure that everyone and the employees could hear).
ME: CAN YOU PLEASE STOP CUTTING! YOU ALREADY CUT YOUR WAY INTO THE STORE AND NOW YOU'RE CUTTING IN THIS LINE TOO? FOLLOW THE RULES.
CUTTER GIRL: You stand and I not see. I no cut! I was waiting before you!
ME: THEN YOU SHOULD'VE READ INSTRUCTIONS AND LISTENED TO THE STORE'S DIRECTIONS. THE COPS ALREADY KICKED YOU OUT, I CAN GET THEM TO KICK YOU OUT OF THE STORE.
CUTTER GIRL: Fine, fine, I'll be behind you in line then.
ME: It's not like you're doing me a favor, you should be after me.
*silence*
*CUTTER GIRL picks up cellphone, calls her friend*
CUTTER GIRL [In Mandarin]: Where are you? Are you getting the computer? I'm in the camera line, and you can't believe this woman infront of me. She was yelling at me because I was cutting! Who does she think is?
ME [In Mandarin]: Don't think I don't understand Mandarin, I can understand everything you're saying.
CUTTER GIRL [In Mandarin]: WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME? I'M JUST CUTTING!
ME [In Mandarin]: YOU AREN'T SUPPOSE TO CUT, IS SOMETHING WRONG IN YOUR HEAD?
CUTTER GIRL [In Cantonese]: You're a crazy btich.
ME [In Mandarin]: I CAN UNDERSTAND CANTONESE AS WELL, BITCH.
*She looked surprised but immediately switched back to her sordid emotional state*
CUTTER GIRL [In Cantonese]: THEN WHY AREN'T YOU FUCKING SPEAKING IN CANTONESE? I DON'T BELIEVE YOU, YOU ARE JUST A CRAZY ASSHOLE.
ME [In Mandarin]: YOU WANT ME, THE CRAZY ASSHOLE, TO SAY SOMETHING IN CANTONESE?
CUTTER GIRL [In Cantonese]: I BET YOU CAN'T, FUCKER!
ME [In Cantonese]: YOUR MOM CAN GO FUCK HERSELF. Happy?
Then I smiled. Her jaw dropped....as if she was wondering how this non-Chinese-looking Chinese person with perfect English can speack both perfect Mandarin and perfect Cantonese?
Between you and me, "Your mom can go fuck herself" is the only thing I can actually pronounce correctly in Cantonese. I can understand some Cantonese, but I really just lucked out.
The discounted Cannon Rebel XTI Digital SLR and the $25 2G Sandisk I got were really just consolation prizes. The real victory and reward was my encounter with Cutter Girl.
So I ventured to the Black Friday event at the San Francisco Best Buy this morning. We were in line by 2:00AM. By "line", I really mean a chaotic goop of 300+ young Asian FOB people (including me, technically) with some white people sprinkled into the mix. But because the ethnic majority there have little of no grasp of English, the line situation was utterly insane.
People were lining up on the wrong sides, clearly missing the "LINE STARTS HERE" sign in bright red 5000pt font. Chaos ensued between the Team Wrong Line and Team Right Line.
People were crowding at wrong spots, ignoring the army of blue-polo-clad Best Buy employees' directions. The Best Buy employee called the stand-by cops and started kicking people out of the line. Chaos ensued between Team Employees and Team Retarded Liners.
Towards 5:30AM, the line situation was pretty much under control. There were cutters but they were quickly escorted off of the premise.
The whole time I was there, there was this one acne-ridden, super FOB Chinese chick who was pissing me off. She not only lined up at the wrong line, but tried to cut infront of me in the right line. She got kicked out of the line, but shamelessly moved with the line and attempted to cut again. As we were being let into the store, I finally yelled at her "YOU ALREADY GOT KICKED OUT OF THE LINE SO STOP TRYING TO GET BACK IN."
Strangely enough, she got into the store. I only know this because SHE TRIED TO CUT INFRONT OF ME AGAIN in the digital camera purchase line. The nerves! A Best Buy employee had to tell her to follow the curve of the line. She either ignored the guy or really didn't understand English. She would not budge, and anchored herself right infront of me. I finally snapped and yelled at her (and made sure that everyone and the employees could hear).
ME: CAN YOU PLEASE STOP CUTTING! YOU ALREADY CUT YOUR WAY INTO THE STORE AND NOW YOU'RE CUTTING IN THIS LINE TOO? FOLLOW THE RULES.
CUTTER GIRL: You stand and I not see. I no cut! I was waiting before you!
ME: THEN YOU SHOULD'VE READ INSTRUCTIONS AND LISTENED TO THE STORE'S DIRECTIONS. THE COPS ALREADY KICKED YOU OUT, I CAN GET THEM TO KICK YOU OUT OF THE STORE.
CUTTER GIRL: Fine, fine, I'll be behind you in line then.
ME: It's not like you're doing me a favor, you should be after me.
*silence*
*CUTTER GIRL picks up cellphone, calls her friend*
CUTTER GIRL [In Mandarin]: Where are you? Are you getting the computer? I'm in the camera line, and you can't believe this woman infront of me. She was yelling at me because I was cutting! Who does she think is?
ME [In Mandarin]: Don't think I don't understand Mandarin, I can understand everything you're saying.
CUTTER GIRL [In Mandarin]: WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME? I'M JUST CUTTING!
ME [In Mandarin]: YOU AREN'T SUPPOSE TO CUT, IS SOMETHING WRONG IN YOUR HEAD?
CUTTER GIRL [In Cantonese]: You're a crazy btich.
ME [In Mandarin]: I CAN UNDERSTAND CANTONESE AS WELL, BITCH.
*She looked surprised but immediately switched back to her sordid emotional state*
CUTTER GIRL [In Cantonese]: THEN WHY AREN'T YOU FUCKING SPEAKING IN CANTONESE? I DON'T BELIEVE YOU, YOU ARE JUST A CRAZY ASSHOLE.
ME [In Mandarin]: YOU WANT ME, THE CRAZY ASSHOLE, TO SAY SOMETHING IN CANTONESE?
CUTTER GIRL [In Cantonese]: I BET YOU CAN'T, FUCKER!
ME [In Cantonese]: YOUR MOM CAN GO FUCK HERSELF. Happy?
Then I smiled. Her jaw dropped....as if she was wondering how this non-Chinese-looking Chinese person with perfect English can speack both perfect Mandarin and perfect Cantonese?
Between you and me, "Your mom can go fuck herself" is the only thing I can actually pronounce correctly in Cantonese. I can understand some Cantonese, but I really just lucked out.
The discounted Cannon Rebel XTI Digital SLR and the $25 2G Sandisk I got were really just consolation prizes. The real victory and reward was my encounter with Cutter Girl.
