Friday, June 01, 2007

The Ten Worst Celebrity Boob Jobs

With all the time and money at their disposal, you would think that celebrities who decide to get their breasts done have access to the best cosmetic surgeons out there who at least have an idea how to go about performing a boob job. As it turns out, too many female celebrities enter a plastic surgeon’s office and come out looking like they’ve been forced to swallow coconuts (or in some cases, watermelons) only to have them lodged inside their chests. Some celebrities also find their implants eventually rippling, and the effect, to say the least, is absolutely gross.

Here are the Ten Worst Celebrity Boob Jobs ever.

10. Ivanka Trump

Ivanka Trump

It’s unfortunate that someone as smart and gorgeous and of course, rich, as Ivanka Trump would go for implants that would rival that of a number of pornstars. OK, they would have looked fine if not for the fact that the right one seems to be bigger than the left.

9. Janet Jackson

Janet Jackson

I’m not really sure if Janet Jackson had a boob job, but this cleavage-baring pic of hers kinda grossed me out. The skin surrounding her right breast looks a bit saggy, but the breast itself looks rock-hard. If that isn’t a bad boob job, then I don’t know what is.

8. Victoria Beckham

Victoria Beckham

Call them what you will: tennis balls, soccer balls, half coconut shells. They pretty much accurately describe what her boob job looks like.

7. Tori Spelling

Tori Spelling

She could have used a nose job or chin surgery or maybe even a facial transplant, but noooo, Tori Spelling had to have a boob job that doesn’t do anything for her looks. They’re just a tad too big, and a tad too fake.

6. Courtney Love

Courtney Love

A lot of things about this woman can be categorized under “gross”, and the rippled left breast that she seems to enjoy flashing is just one of them.

5. Susan Ward

Susan Ward

Don’t know much about this actress, except that she was a former teen star who is now married to a movie studio executive. But this much I know: she needs to put some of her husband’s money to work by having her right breast, which seems to be going south on her, fixed.

4. Christina Aguilera

Christina Aguilera

It’s only just recently that Christina has sort of come clean about having had breast implants (duh!). Perfect timing, because this recent picture of hers shows the implant on her right breast starting to look like a burger patty that’s about to burst. I think it’s time for refill or whatever it is plastic surgeons do to fix bad boob jobs.

3. Pamela Anderson

Pamela Anderson

Owner of what are probably the most-viewed fake breasts in history, Pamela needs no introduction. What she needs, however, is someone to fix her left nipple, which appears to be the end result of her nth boob job. Ewww.

2. Tara Reid

Tara Reid

Her botched plastic surgery was tabloid fodder last year, and so was this picture of her drunk and not noticing she was showing everyone at P. Diddy’s birthday bash how botched her plastic surgery was.

1. Vivica A. Fox

Vivica A. Fox

Perez Hilton scribbled what everyone was thinking upon seeing this picture of Vivica A. Fox inexplicably displaying what is unmistakably a dent on her right breast. She could have worn something more modest to cover it up, but she had to gross everyone out with the worst bad boob job I’ve ever seen.